i feel like i always talk about how much i love this internet community all the time, but we back. we’re talking about it again. because it’s honestly so great. so here goes:
dear internet humans,
i’ve been blogging for five years (?!!!!). there’ve been a ton of ups and downs. there were moments when i felt no inspiration, moments when i considered leaving without a trace, moments when i questioned why i was “wasting my time” churning out content. but at the end of the day, i’m still here.
sometimes, i’ll look at my old posts and feel a sense of pride for my former self. i’m transported to a time when i loved blogging with my entire being. i’m not saying i don’t love it now, but this space has evolved. there’re others contributing with me; i’m balancing youtube and writing out my feels. things change and we continue.
i think of my friends when i first began blogging. some of them are still here; some of them have moved on. i still follow their personal lives, but some have simply disappeared. whether we had one conversation or many, these people shaped the internet for me. then i think of the friends i still talk to now, and am filled with an overwhelming sense of gratitude. (how am i so lucky to have this support system?!! i’m EMO.)
who knew that this internet space would lead me to so many opportunities and life-changing relationships? certainly not my sixteen-year-old self. (am i being dramatic? maybe a little, but LET ME BE.) even though i’m not as active on twitter or the blogosphere as i was before, i cherish all the friends made and paths crossed. people who are “just mutuals” and i don’t really interact with. people who i followed but was too scared to interact with. people who followed me, but never interacted with me. (i luv u all)
this is starting to feel a bit like an angsty goodbye post, but it’s really (really) not. what i’m trying to say is: i probably would not have continued as long as i have if not for the people around me. it sounds so cheesy, but: i can’t put to words how (#)grateful (UGH THAT WORD) i am for all the internet people.
we all come from different places of different backgrounds, but somehow, for some reason, we’re all here in this safe space. we’re talking about things we love and don’t love. and i’m just filled with a lot of feelings. this doesn’t stem from anything in particular, but i just wanted to say it again.
i feel like i’m pretty bad at expressing ~love~ and ~emotion~ for people irl, so this is me making an effort to do so digital. I LOVE YOU GUYS. YOU’RE ALL GREAT. thanks for sticking around. thanks for dealing with my inconsistency and existentialism. i hope my digital spaces were able to help you in any way – just like you, the people of the internet, were able to help me.