xvii // happy birthday to me!

i kinda forgot to mention this in my ‘farewell & foresight’ post, but my birthday is this month! specifically, it’s in two days. *releases balloons and streamers* i’m going to be turning 17, which is SUPER OLD. i know a lot of people will roll their eyes at that sentence, but it’s true. and it’s partly because i’m an aspiring ballet dancer.

what most people don’t know is that ballerinas are expected to get a job with a professional company starting from age 16 to 20. all these books about “bunheads” talk about drama and feud between dancers wanting the lead in the show, but we’re actually too stressed about getting a job to care about that. (well, at least i am. i honestly don’t care if someone else gets the lead.) we kinda have to get a job right after high school; a dancer’s career doesn’t last very long so we need to make the most of it. so imagining myself with a job in the next few years… feels very adult-ish and SCARY.

anyway, i wanted to celebrate my birthday on the blog beforehand because i’ll be flying to indianapolis on the actual day. *sigh* for the past three years, i’ve had to fly somewhere on the day of my bday and compete at a ballet competition. i don’t get to really focus on myself, but i don’t really mind. i know i’m gonna have an ultra-fabulous summer, so what difference does one day make? buuuut i like celebrating things just for the thrill of it, so um, here i am!

since i’m turning seventeen, i thought it would be fun to share seventeen things that happened in my seventeenth year (aka when i was sixteen, it’s confusing and weird like that):

1. i founded an apparel company with my sister, dubbed the twirlings! it’s basically a bunch of cute sweaters/warmups for sassy ballerinas. all the clothes have funny sayings and it’s my pride and joy (next to this blog).
2. i competed at the usa international ballet competition. this was the highlight of the past year because i’ve been wanting to compete here for a while. it’s held every four years and is like the “ballet olympics.” i had so much fun, met amazing people, and learned so much. i will always remember jackson, ms.
3. i was attacked by fire ants and had to go to the hospital. this happened while i was competing in jackson, ms… HAH. it really wasn’t THAT bad, but it’s a great conversation starter.
4. i bought/built myself a bookshelf, which led to me creating a bookstagram. and i am forever grateful for the loving people at bookstagram.
5. i started this blog! and it may have consumed my soul xoxo
6. i took a legit aptitude test and found out what my natural talents are. okay this test was super legit. as in, it was eight hours long and held in a fancy shmancy building in los angeles. it’s fun to find out more about yourself.
7. i passed the permit exam and one step closer to driving! i mentioned this in earlier blog posts, but i guess it’s worth bringing up again.
8. i discovered the glory of kpop and korean dramas. which ultimately changed my life for the better. i mean, i fell in love with an alien and a person who hiccups every time she lies.
9. my artistic eye has improved. or i’d like to think that it improved. i kind of have bookstagram to thank for that, forcing me to be more creative and aesthetic. i’ve become more aware and visual.
10. i started taking care of my health and exercising more. this is mostly due to the influence of kayla itsines. i have better understanding of my body, which is really helpful for my dancing.
11. i found my voice. well, i think i found my voice – in writing, i mean. i’m more comfortable with rambling online and talking in general. i think i was really socially awkward before, but i’m better?? i guess??? UGH, this is getting awkward and i’m just going to stop.
12. i learned that i don’t hate the nutcracker THAT much. i’m sure many of you are like, “why would you ever hate the nutcracker?!” being a dancer, the ballet is so overdone and you get sick of it. but that’s not why i “hated” nutcracker. i only hated the sugarplum fairy solo/pas de deux, and that was because it was so not my style. it’s so dainty and there are so many (very painful) hops. but after dancing it, i’d realized it’s not that bad.
13. i realized my love for contemporary novels. before i’d always read dystopian, but red queen was the last straw. it’d made me realize how repetitive and predictable they all are. (or maybe it’s just that book that’d scarred me for life and made me kinda hate dystopians.) i realize how cute, enjoyable, and light contemporaries (usually) are.
14. a few of my favorite series came to an end. *sheds tears* i’m specifically speaking of the blood of olympus, in the afterlight, and the retribution of mara dyer.
15. autumn became, undoubtedly, my favorite time of year. i love the chilly weather, sweaters, falling leaves, and sense of new beginnings.
16. i learned that a lot of people are awesome, but a lot of people also suck. as in, they’re a terrible person and have awful morals. but you know, that’s okay. everything in life happens for a reason. just move on.
17. i got through another year! i think that is an accomplishment in itself.

i really wanted to host a giveaway, but i’m always afraid no one will participate. *crawls to a corner* that’s always sad, so maybe in the (hopefully near) future when my blog gets a larger following?

anyway, i’m really excited for this upcoming year! although i’m not “officially” 17 yet, i feel like i already am and i’m going to turn 18 soon. ohmygod, i’ll be a legal adult. that is beyond weird and i don’t want to think about it. i’m simultaneously excited and scared because the future scares me. also, time is moving by so quickly! i still feel like i’m in middle school. (thank goodness i’m not actually in middle school. that would be a nightmare.) all of a sudden, i feel really nostalgic and really sad. but at the same time, i’m happy and excited for the future. oh, birthdays!

when is YOUR birthday? let me know in the comments!!

– alexandra