farewell & foresights: april 2019

farewell, april

in my 20+ years of life, i still don’t understand why the passing of time shocks me, but here we are. (how is it already almost summer????? wtf????????) ANYWAY. the majority of april was consumed getting back into the swing of things.

after my two months of traveling, coming back home was rewarding. living here my whole life, i used to constantly complain about LA and would dream of leaving and moving far far away. however, i’m starting to love and appreciate this city. i got back to teaching yoga regularly (much love for my omies), inspired again to Make Content (and plans to do it), and allowed myself to enjoy things. i went to soul cycle with one of my favorite internet friends, celine, many times; i met up with linh & emmanuel, who are so wonderful; and i did a LOT of spring cleaning – physically and mentally.

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i spent a lot of time reflecting (more than usual because i already reflect A LOT on a regular basis) and am finally in a place where i feel okay. priscilla asked me a while ago if i felt happy where i was, and i could honestly say yes. isn’t that wild?!! of course there are ups and downs, but for the most part, i’m enjoying the present moment and excited for the future.

madeline:

WHERE IS THIS YEAR GOING WTF. just like xan, i can’t believe it’s already the end of april! this means i have less than a month left in my junior year of high school, and i’m about to be consumed in the tornado of college admissions. (*yike*) this year has truly gone by in a whirlwind, and i am so sad to say goodbye to my senior friends at the end of the month. 🙁

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the major thing about this month is that i researched, wrote, and edited a 26 page history paper. essentially, this paper is a huge rite of passage at my school for juniors, and i am beyond ecstatic that i turned it in!! i printed out my baby and turned it in on may first, and it was so great to see all my work come into fruition in that moment. (btw i wrote about ACT UP, the AIDS activist group from the eighties. it allowed me to indulge the art-loving part of myself and also have an excuse to scream my support for the queer community lmao. let me know if you want me to talk about my experience with this project more on the blog!)

i took the ACT test earlier this month, and despite not always doing THAT well on standardized testing, i did really well, and i might not even have to take the SAT or ACT again! that’s a really good thing that happened this month. :))))

i know i haven’t been so present on the twirling pages this spring, and this paper is mostly the reason why; i don’t have time during the week to write blog posts, and i have been writing SO MANY WORDS on the weekends that i’ve really just been feeling drained most of the time. i hope to do a heck ton of posts this summer and maybe record my college process + do more journal-y types of posts?? idk but i really want to start reading and blogging more again !! maybe the podcast i’m always talking about doing will happen…i’ve been feeling so happy and productive this month, even with all the stress of school, yet i’m also in a weird stage when it comes to reading and making content/art.

TIME IS PASSING SO QUICKLY???? @time: please stop i’m not ready to be a sophomore ahhhh!! i feel like the months tend to blend together when you’re in school (maybe also when you’re working), but april didn’t feel like a super distinctive month to me. honestly, it was a very Okay month – not terrible (although there were definitely some low points), and not the best. but it’s absolutely CRAZY that my freshman year is going to be over in 2 (TWO!!) weeks! it’s been a wild ride, as i shared with you all

here are some of my highlights:

i participated in a dance show at columbia/barnard! orchesis is such a cool dance group/show because they cast everyone who auditions, and there are a lot of people (like me) who have never danced before! the picture below isn’t the dance i was in, but it was an amazing hiphop piece that included no tears left to cry, alejandro, etc!

i also visited some new cafes and restaurants, including urban backyard (cute but kinda overrated), eileen’s special cheesecake (also not amazing), golden unicorn (very good dimsum!!), abiko curry (soooo good), blank slate (cute but also a bit overrated). food is so much better with friends, and i’m really happy that i got to spend a lot time with friends this month 🙂 also, casually going to plug my foodstagram again HAHA

the weather this month has been pretty nice, and campus has been soooo pretty with all the flowers blooming! i was talking to a friend about this recently, and we were both saying that we didn’t realize how much of an effect weather can have on mood until we came to new york haha (california, i miss you). although the weather’s been a bit gloomier this past week, i definitely took advantage of the weather last week and took lots of walks in riverside park!

ALSO, i saw one of my friends play at carnegie hall!! sososo proud of her; she was amazing! i usually don’t listen to that much classical music, but i really enjoyed the concert

easter was also this month! it was really nice celebrating easter with all my friends here, and a few of us had a mini picnic in central park after church. lent is finally over, which means i can once again drink boba and use facebook! i’m really happy that i gave these things up for lent, because i think i now have a somewhat healthier relationship with both of them! also, i’ve been pretty happy that i’ve been able to spend more time reading the bible and discussing it with one of my friends 🙂

media consumed

in terms of music, i was listening to a LOT of old tracks from my childhood. for some reasons, i felt a very strong urge to pull out the 90s r&b, the angsty alternative, and the iconic boy bands. (i’m talking about you, jonas bros & one direction!!!!) i also went to a themed soul cycle ride that was JB vs 1D so obviously, i was singing, crying, and sweating. it was the concert my nine-year-old self always wanted to go to, but was too afraid to ask my parents. T—T

april was ENDGAME MONTH. i got my tickets the day they were released, but didn’t watch infinity war until literally three hours before my ticket time. (and no, i don’t mean rewatch.) needless to say, i’ve been very emotional and Marvel Trash. i kinda regret waiting this long to binge it all at once; even though waiting sucks, i feel like it would be different to theorize and anticipate. r/endgamespoilers is saving my life atm.

april was also game of thrones month, but i don’t watch game of thrones. or rather, i didn’t watch got. i started it after some convincing and ALL THE GD HYPE. so far, i’ve finished season one but i don’t think i’ll binge it fast enough to finish by the time the series finishes. i’m trying my best, okay!!! i thought i could do it, but there are a lot of episodes!!!

madeline:

IT IS ENDGAME TIME AND I HAVEN’T HAD TIME TO SEE IT. so mad about that but i will get to it eventually!!!! i promise!!! no spoilers pls or i will cry (no literally i’m so tired from school at this point i will)

it’s been a huge music month for me. every single day it seems i turn on music while i’m doing homework and it actually helps me tune out other distractions! i’ve been really LOVING the soundtrack of Carol (aka my fave movie) lately for while i am doing english readings, and i recently rediscovered Kishi Bashi as an artist, and i have been listening to him nonstop. he has a really lovely blend of instrumental and alternative styles that i vibe with. the “This is Kishi Bashi” playlist on spotify has been on repeat for, i kid you not, the last ten hours.

“In Blue” by declan mckenna came out this month and i was SHOOK. he’s my probably my most favorite artist, and it’s the first time in a couple years he’s actually released music, so i was excited to get new tunes from him! RELEASE THE ALBUM DECLAN.

i also made a really specific and incredibly random playlist earlier this month for writing my research paper (embedded above). like, there’s Lana Del Ray and sad boi musicTM, but also Starships by Nicki Minaj?? that’s the kinda month i’ve been having lol!1!!1 (it’s fine. everything’s fine!) i also started doing a radio show with my friend for our school’s radio station, and it’s real good fun– basically just an excuse once a week to listen to music for an hour and not do homework!! finally, i started listening to The Secret History on audiobook for like half an hour each night before i go to sleep, and it helps me fall asleep so much omg. Donna Tartt herself reads the audiobook and it’s amazing. would recommend.

as usual, i’ve been listening to lots of kpop! i recently really got into txt, a boy group from the same company as bts, and i’m really excited because i’m actually seeing them next week! also, bts had a comeback, and boy with luv has definitely been stuck in my head – such a cute and catchy song <3

in terms of things i’ve been watching, my friend and i are watching a drama called touch your heart together – so far, it’s really cute! i also really enjoyed a new webdrama called re-feel 🙂

i also read a lot of ebooks this month, but i think i’m losing a bit of steam – next month probably won’t be as productive in terms of reading. these are the books i read this month:

• heartless – really good!
• the secret of a heart note – really enjoyed this one, such a unique concept
• under a painted sky – beautiful characters
• lord of shadows – SO GOOD + terrible cliffhanger omg
• queen of air and darkness – after LOS, i needed the sequel right away, and it did not disappoint
• we are the ants – really different, i enjoyed it!

foresights of may

while april was mostly chill, may is going to be very busy and productive. here are some things happening:

• going to yallwest!!! i’m so excited to see all the book friends *cries*
• then going to maurene goo‘s launch event for somewhere only we know!!! i honestly can’t wait because 1) i loved the book 2) it’s in conversation with the forever 35 podcast 3) my friends tiffany & angela are coming with me and 4) it’s at the last bookstore. HYPED.
• hooooooping to visit the tread by everlane store in downtown LA
• supporting my fellow bunheads at a ballet competition
• a lot of content planned!!!!! I’M VERY EXCITED

madeline:

ok y’all, i did a lot this april, but i really can’t lose steam! may is an important month for schoolwork, and i need to stay motivated!

• study for the Latin AP later this month. this is a big one, and i really need to review Caesar’s De Bello Gallico bc i haven’t looked at it in over a year.
• study for SAT Subject Tests in june. i am taking Latin and Math 2. great fun. apparently this month involves studying for a lot of standardized tests.
• run a lot, and enjoy my last few weeks with teammates who are seniors. i think i still need to work on living in the moment and being grateful for the time i have with people instead of thinking about the future so much.
• finish priory of the orange tree and maybe circe. i really do want to read more you guys. i’m trying my best!!!
• maintain schoolwork and try my best not to slack off/waste time/procrastinate!

i have no idea what kind of month may is going to be, but it’s probably going to be pretty hectic with school wrapping up and everything! this is what the next two weeks look like:

• may 6 – last day of classes
• may 9 – txt showcase in new york!!
• may 13 & 15 – finals
• may 16 – PACK UP MY ENTIRE LIFE
• may 17 – 8:55am flight back to california (lol) because i make bad decision

and after that i just want to relax a bit for the second half of may haha, i’ll probably try to spend a lot of time with other friends who have come back from college! i hope everyone has an amazing may!

how was your april? let us know in the comments below!!