the first month of the year is over!! wild!!!! also monthly wrap-ups are making a comeback!!!! are you hyped i’m hyped. this month, the blog got a new look (aka theme) and it’s been GREAT.
in terms of Life, i was feeling pretty low on most days (think 3/10) and had 0 motivation to do much of anything. my sleep was wack; i already feel behind on my resolutions; and went through many spirals over-analyzing my self-worth and comparing myself to pixels on screens. would not recommend. much of this had to do with the fact that i was sending many
many many many audition requests and planning on my job hunting pursuit for the next few months. i also attended an audition which wasn’t too bad but…
for those who don’t know, i’m hoping to become a professional ballet dancer and positions available are super slim. it’s an art-oriented field with little funding and lots of competition. *sigh*
while i know 98% is luck and timing, i couldn’t help but go down that instagram spiral of stalking those who seem to have the perfect body/life/resume for ballet. all this led to a pretty bad mental health month, but i’m trying to remind myself that everything happens for a reason.
i almost forgot: i went to las vegas for a few days! WOMP. the first week of january honestly felt like it was part of 2018 lmao. my relatives were visiting for a few days and we decided to take them to las vegas. the highlight of the trip was when i got to visit the kusama exhibit. i’ve been wanting to go for SO LONG but tickets are so hard to get and i never get the chance in normal life.
january has gone by sO fast but has generally been a pretty good month. i started the month off basically reloading things back into my room, as we had spent a few weeks making some changes to it and it basically gave me the opportunity to start the new year off with a changed environment and cleaned room because i ended up getting rid/storing about 4 boxes of stuff that i totally did not need.
and then school started and i think i have already given up HAHAHA. after so many years of not sleeping, i think my body has finally gotten accustomed to being slightly sleep deprived (big oof) and in addition, im having MAJOR trouble falling asleep every night. its okay though!! we always have coffee!!
AND im highkey stressing because AP tests are coming up and is something that i definitely do noT want to screw up, so i have been preparing to mass study/review for all the tests i am taking and just pRAY that i can get through the tests. most of my days have been stuDYING and HOmeWORK and really just sooo much school work. ya girls just tryna go to college why is it this hard 😩
i also got a chance to restart on my bullet journal, which you can see here, and i have been really loving it these past few weeks, especially since my life is getting so absolutely crazy i have been making sO many lists and calendars recently. (i may be writing a post on that soon actually!)
but yea, january has been a pretty decent month, considering i was kept busy and got to have a little reset button to start off the new year. mental health didn’t completely suck either. could have been better, as there were a few bad days, but generally a decent month.
so ya maybe not the best countdown ever. a sweaty middle-aged man even yelled at me for stepping on the spot his “ass was tired of protecting all night” but hey oh well!
of course, when i got back to school, SCHOOL hit me right in the face. the last three weeks of our semester also happen to be the last three weeks of january sooo ya finals and projects and presentations was what i did for the rest of the month. 🙁
folks, we are one month into 2019, and that’s kind of wild. i haven’t done anything to redefine who i am and seperate myself from the mess that was 2018, but i am in a pretty good place, mentally. the month as a whole has been weirdly chill, despite finals and uni stuff!
gosh, everything i want to talk about happened in 2018!! but because i don’t have somewhere to talk about 2018, i’m gonna give you a quick recap of the last few months: went to new york (god i love it there), got a dog (her name is ginger, vv cute), reconciled with my ex-girlfriend (aww), broke up with said girlfriend (again), applied to uni (ahhhh), lost my grandfather (:/), starred in the school play (!!!), registered in second semester courses (bio, social studies, drama babey!), and drank so much tea. yeah, it’s been a busy season. but now 2019 is here (it’s been here), and i’m ready to make the most of the next eleven months.
in other news, i’ve officially registered for uni! you are looking at a classics major/creative writing minor, class of 2023!! i’m very excited to be going to uni in the fall, and even though i’m not moving from home like i always dreamed, i know the classics department at my uni is going to treat me right. not to mention, i get to see my best friends still, as we’re all attending the same school!! uni is something i’ve always known i was going to do, but now that it’s right around the corner and i can almost taste it, it doesn’t seem real.
but yeah. january was, as januarys go, pretty good, i’d say. I look forward to making february wayyyyyyyyy better though lol
as someone who felt like they were in a reading slump, i read a lot of books. THANK THE AUDIOBOOKS. AND THE LIBRARY. i recently got another library card because i realized you can get cards even if you live in a different city/county?!! no more books on hold for 6+ months!!! libraries are the best. also: i’ve high key become the diviners trash. IT’S THE BEST. (as for movies/music, i’ve been lacking oops)
books: uM, i ACTUALLY read this month holy crap. i ended up having a spur of motivation to read winter and finish the lunar chronicles, which has been sitting on my shelf for years now, and read it in like, 3 days. and then i proceeded to binge read the lux series in like, a week, and am now knee deep in the daughter of smoke and bone trilogy and am OBSESSED.
music: funny story, i made a winter playlist and got sick of it in about, 2 months so i ended up putting on one of my spotify daily mixes will more chill r&b music and basically made this whole other chill playlist for myself, which i have had on repeat for weeks now because i actually really love this playlist. if you’re into r&b definitely feel free to check my playlist out heh !!
shows: i got back into skam hehe. since there are about TEN BILLION different remakes of skam, i decided to watch a couple for funzies and now i basically OBSESSED with the german remake of skam, as well as the italian, and netherlands, which are all either about to be in their second season or currently is in it’s second season. (the second season is my fAVE storyline) so yea, i have been dying everyday because i’m waiting for the german skam (currently in it’s second season) to UPLOAD. it’s been great!
ok so i only FINISHED one book in january — dumplin’!! i wasn’t expecting to love it as much as i did but ya! i loved the southern aesthetic and feel of the entire novel and i usually hate country music . . . but i’ve been listening to a lot of dolly parton ever since.
movies watched: dumplin’, obviously, and
music i’ve been listening to can be summed up in three points. i) a lot a lot a lot of dolly parton and ii) la la land soundtrack because i miss california aaaaand iii) hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have by lana del rey <3 <3 <3.
so, i was looking at my goodreads and i actually…. read more than i thought i did? whenever i look back at my reading for the month, i always just assume all i did was read buzzfeed articles. but not this month!!
as for music, i’ve really been into indie folk and roots as of late. if you like those sort of sweet jams, here’s my january playlist!! i’ll have one of these every month. my favourite listens of january have been bookstore girl by charlie burg, cavetown’s entire discography and the into the spiderverse soundtrack!!
foresights of february
next month is fairly exciting so here are some goals/plans:
- travel to barcelona, spain (issa a thing happening!!)
- support my friends in their ballet competitions
- go to new york for a ‘lil while
- create more Content™ (vlog more, blog more, all the things)
- try not to be so down on yourself
ya girls just suffering in school for the next month !! there are a couple of school events going on which i am looking forward to but february is generally a short month so i kind of expect it to fly by. (watch, i just cursed myself, it’s going to drAG) obviously i want to try to sleep more and generally just waste less time, because i do feel like i do that thing were you sit on youtube for like 2 hours at a time too often and it takes up sO much time where i could be doing other and better things. other than that, february should be a good month!
february is always a short month for me, school wise. out of the 28 days, i have 6 of those off, not including weekends, so it should wizz by. i’m getting my wisdom teeth out on valentine’s day (which i’m not upset about lol—since my breakup the prospect of spending valentine’s alone makes me Sad, so now i get to spend it with my mother, chicken soup, and pain meds!!). that being said, here are some goals i have for feb!
- write at least 20k of my writing project
- create draft schedule for first year of uni
- pick a play for drama i’m passionate about
- spend more time with friends and family
- read at least 5 books!!!
here’s hoping. see you angels soon!!